Edge of Sanity

The door swings open. For a split second, I am reminded of my surroundings. I am alone in a white room with soft walls; enclosed from a world that at times forget I exist. I shudder.

“Jasmin. How are you feeling today?”
A tall figure walks in and closes the door behind it. It always does that. It gives me a glimpse of the world I’m missing and then snatches it away from me. I hate that stupid figure.

“How’s my girl?”
I rest my head on the wall and sigh.

“Good I hope,” it continues.
The subtle taps come back to the door. The tall figure rarely came too close to me. Some days I would jump up and bend over. Scared, the figure would brace itself, and then I’d chuckle and charge. Funny, chuckle and charge.

“I’ve got something for you,” it extends its arm and shakes a small cup of tablets. The rattling, the subtle tapping, the revolving clicking. I slowly feel my consciousness fading. Before I leave, I want to leave it with something. When I don’t move or show any signs of hostility, the figure comes closer. I twitch, it stops; I laugh.

I beat my head on the pillowed walls again. This part is always boring. The distant moment I have to experience. The short road between sanity and insanity. I rarely take the road less traveled; guess that’s why it’s called the road less traveled. I always shoot for my insanity. It’s the most stimulating place. When my body rumbles inside, I have the power to settle down, I just don’t want to. I want to act out; I want to free myself from my white prison. However, every time I try to break free I only imprison myself far worse than I was before. It’s almost pathetic. I hate myself some days and want to hurt myself the others.

“You ready?” it asks.

My eyes fall on a remote corner. I wish I were there instead of here. Before I knew it, I could feel a cold needle being pricked into my left arm. I look up and try to get a better look at the figure’s face, but it is much too late. My vision becomes cloudy. My thoughts are starting to slow down. Mouth…feels…like…cot…ton. I…keep…hear…ing…some…thing…ring…ing…

…“That a girl.”

Delve into my empire of sapience. Let go of all your belongings. You will have no use for your lackluster possessions in my home. I and I alone shall suffice. I shall be the queen of your acumen. Simply allow me to be. This will be my last request. My next move will be to dominate you. Take over your mind and make you bow down before me. Don’t you see that I am draped in the finest of silks, and preeminent of linens? Ignore the appearances of overbearing landlords and patronizing clinicians. I am the focal point; they have no dominion over me. You see, the rent man is but a figment of your imagination. An abstract creation of the boundaries and restraints that only you wish to place upon my life. But as I escaped his incessant poundings on the door of my existence, I will escape the shackles that you attempt to force upon me.

I have lost everything of the material world and have learned that my status exits primarily in the extent of your mentality. Don’t try to makes sense out of my words now. No, do not attempt to trouble your feeble mind before it is ready; before it is capable of comprehending a sovereign like myself. I will soon be master of all worlds including your own. Corrupting you and your scope from the inside out. Prepare yourself for my coming. It will surely be like no other. Ready yourself for me. A girl so desperately trying to make sense out of the myth I called my life. The reality that is nothing. The story that seems to be my own…